Wednesday, February 6, 2008

God Bless me for trying

Well since we don't have a camera I guess you'll have to put up with me writing for a few days, weeks or months....

Let's see where to begin....

Trevor convinced me this afternoon that I could handle taking the boys to church by myself. Call me crazy (and you might after this post) but since its Ash Wednesday I figured we should all go. So we ate an early dinner and headed to the church for 6pm service.

It was packed and we were early (something that doesn't happen in our family often).

So we made the 7 mile uphill climb from the parking lot into the church with 2 kids in tow, a diaper bag, a church bag full of toys and about 14 pounds of winter coats, hats and mittens. I thought my arm was going to fall off. As I entered the church I was certain that everyone had driven their own car because it wasn't quite as packed as the parking lot portrayed. I scored us a seat up front, not uncommon for us. Carson loves to read through the hymnal, who knew. So once I figured out what "youw big book" meant I gave it to him. Of course it was the only one I grabbed and he wasn't into sharing.

So much for singing at church today or following the readings.

About 4 minutes into the service he ripped a page out. Of course it had to be when the church was silent and everyone could hear the ripping of the (very thin) paper and him saying quite loudly, "Uh Oh mama." So we moved onto our ever so promising bag of books, crayons and other misc "quite" toys. I was able to keep them quite occupied with said toys through all the readings. But then our behavior and my mental stability took a turn for the worse.

You see if Carson had a toy Declan wanted it, and well, you can't say no to Declan because he just flings and flops his 23 pound body all over the place while screaming hysterically like you just stole his mama from him.

Did I mention we were in the FRONT row and this was about when Father was giving his homily and of course I have no idea what he said.

So we made it up to get ashes and back to our seats. The ashes thrilled the boys for about 3 minutes. They proceeded to rub each others off and Carson pointed out everyone else that passed by us with ashes on their forehead. It was pretty cute. But then the bickering over toys began.....again. At one point I told Carson if his behavior didn't improve then I would take away his Thomas movie at home. About 4 seconds later he continued said behavior and so I shot him "the look." To which he replied....

"Youw gwonna take Thomas away."

I tried to hide my laughter at that one and sadly his behavior didn't really improve. At least he's got a memory.

Declan continued to scream at various things and make a scene. I could just feel the eyeballs on me. Everyone thinking, Can't this women control her kids and why did she pick the FRONT row if her kids were going to act like that?"

Because I love to torture myself and every other person in this church, that's why!

I know they were thinking that because, well, I've thought that before. We all have! So Declan and I went up for Communion (he was still screaming) and Carson refused to follow me. We get back to our seats and Declan is still loosing his mind so I throw the toy bag at Carson to carry, grab all our winter coats and the diaper bag in one hand and a screaming 16 month old in the other and we bolt. First time I've left right after communion.

And it probably won't be the last.

God Bless!

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious (from a story standpoint) and sad (from an oh, I'm so glad it didn't happen to me perspective)! Great story - especially because you ended it with "God bless". :-)