Monday, October 31, 2011


I'm at home tonight with a baby. A cute one who doesn't look like a newborn anymore.
We're doing laundry, sweeping floors, peeing in our eyes (him, not me) and passing out candy to the neighborhood kids. The boys are out with Trevor collecting as much sugar as they can, I'm anxiously awaiting their return so I can enjoy some goodies I remember so many Halloweens that involved winter coats, hats and mittens but not tonight, it's in the 60s!
I started the day out dealing with this. That's the school parking lot and that's where Spiderman landed after I drug his thrashing, flailing body through the parking lot. This fit, which is more common lately, lasted all the way home and through my attempt to feed him lunch. He missed lunch and instead was thrown in his crib. Two year olds are awesome. And you know what the best part is? I get to do it all over again in 2 years. Yay us!!
Luckily Spiderman woke up on the right side of the crib.


Darth Vader!

We carved pumpkins this weekend. The boys had a blast, mostly Trevor.

Our creations!

The boys are back....time for me to dig into the bucket!!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

One Month

Maddox is already a month old.
 Technically he's 5 weeks but I'm in denial that he's growing so I'll stick with 1 month. To say that this last month has been crazy, busy and a blur would be a vast understatement. It's been a struggle to adjust and find our new routine, something that is always common with a new baby. However, this time around I feel like it's magnified and maybe that has to do with the fact that there are 3 other little boys running around my feet, demanding my attention, but maybe it doesn't, I guess I'll never know. We've been struggling with jaundice, a horrible infection, breastfeeding, gaining weight and sleepless nights.
 I've breastfed 3 children until they were one. Breastfeeding is such a natural enjoyable thing for me to do, but honestly, this time around, I've come close to quitting more times that I can count.  It's been an uphill battle and we've yet to reach the top. I've cried, pumped, met with a lactation consultant, pumped some more and sought advice from my wonderful girlfriends and nothing seems to make this any better. I can't seem to figure out why I have so much trouble this time around. Is it me? Is it Maddox? Am I not patient enough? Mother's guilt can be a horrible burden. I'm trying to be patient but right now that is being tested to the limit. What doesn't kill us can only make us stronger.
I'm also convinced at this stage of the game that Maddox will be 16 before he sleeps through the night. Good grief child, you need to sleep longer then 2 hours. Your killing your mommy! While it seems there is lots to complain about there is also lots to rejoice in. Like his little fingers and his little toes, his fuzzy hair and wandering eyes, his clean baby smell and his tiny little diapers, and mostly, the way he snuggles in his big brother's arms.
It's going fast and I'm desperate to enjoy this time and remember his tiny little body. So while I'm struggling with many parts of being a new mommy again, I'm also delighted in being a new mommy again. This ride called motherhood is bumpy but I'm holding on tight and trying to enjoy the ride.