Boo!

I'm at home tonight with a baby. A cute one who doesn't look like a newborn anymore.

We're doing laundry, sweeping floors, peeing in our eyes (him, not me) and passing out candy to the neighborhood kids. The boys are out with Trevor collecting as much sugar as they can, I'm anxiously awaiting their return so I can enjoy some goodies I remember so many Halloweens that involved winter coats, hats and mittens but not tonight, it's in the 60s!

I started the day out dealing with this. That's the school parking lot and that's where Spiderman landed after I drug his thrashing, flailing body through the parking lot. This fit, which is more common lately, lasted all the way home and through my attempt to feed him lunch. He missed lunch and instead was thrown in his crib. Two year olds are awesome. And you know what the best part is? I get to do it all over again in 2 years. Yay us!!

Luckily Spiderman woke up on the right side of the crib.

 

Luigi!

Darth Vader!

We carved pumpkins this weekend. The boys had a blast, mostly Trevor.

Our creations!

The boys are back....time for me to dig into the bucket!!

One Month

Maddox is already a month old.

 Technically he's 5 weeks but I'm in denial that he's growing so I'll stick with 1 month. To say that this last month has been crazy, busy and a blur would be a vast understatement. It's been a struggle to adjust and find our new routine, something that is always common with a new baby. However, this time around I feel like it's magnified and maybe that has to do with the fact that there are 3 other little boys running around my feet, demanding my attention, but maybe it doesn't, I guess I'll never know. We've been struggling with jaundice, a horrible infection, breastfeeding, gaining weight and sleepless nights.

 I've breastfed 3 children until they were one. Breastfeeding is such a natural enjoyable thing for me to do, but honestly, this time around, I've come close to quitting more times that I can count.  It's been an uphill battle and we've yet to reach the top. I've cried, pumped, met with a lactation consultant, pumped some more and sought advice from my wonderful girlfriends and nothing seems to make this any better. I can't seem to figure out why I have so much trouble this time around. Is it me? Is it Maddox? Am I not patient enough? Mother's guilt can be a horrible burden. I'm trying to be patient but right now that is being tested to the limit. What doesn't kill us can only make us stronger.

I'm also convinced at this stage of the game that Maddox will be 16 before he sleeps through the night. Good grief child, you need to sleep longer then 2 hours. Your killing your mommy! While it seems there is lots to complain about there is also lots to rejoice in. Like his little fingers and his little toes, his fuzzy hair and wandering eyes, his clean baby smell and his tiny little diapers, and mostly, the way he snuggles in his big brother's arms.

It's going fast and I'm desperate to enjoy this time and remember his tiny little body. So while I'm struggling with many parts of being a new mommy again, I'm also delighted in being a new mommy again. This ride called motherhood is bumpy but I'm holding on tight and trying to enjoy the ride. 

Apple Picking

I love fall cooler temperatures, pumpkins, sweaters, boots, apples, football and falling leaves.It is my favorite season. This past weekend we ventured to the apple orchard to do some apple picking. I was finally feeling well enough to do some walking, the weather was perfect and there was no reason to watch the Vikings on tv...it was the perfect afternoon. 

To say Bennett was a fan of freshly picked apples was an understatement. He ate somewhere along the lines of 4 or 5 apples, we quite counting. 

Daddy and his boys. 

 

Our first picture as a family of 6. It only took 2.5 weeks!

Transition

It's been 12 days of transition in our house and it's been a whirlwind that is for sure. When we came home from the hospital and my parents took off leaving the six of us in our house alone, I was scared. Actually, I wanted to go back to the hospital where nurses changed diapers and meals were prepared and cleaned up for us. All of a sudden we were thrust into reality.

There was four little boys who wanted attention, questions answered, games played, homework looked at, bathtime, bedtime and snuggles. Whoa! How did this happen? How did we become the parents of 4 little boys?


I'm not going to lie, it was overwhelming and still is. When four boys want your attention and your husband and you are trying to have a conversation it's loud and crazy and kind of makes you want to bang your head against a wall. Our house isn't that big so our play space is limited making for a very loud house.

 But we are managing, I am managing. The house is messier, the kids are dirtier, I'm not sure when I showered last but we are happy. Happy to be Big Brothers. Happy to have Maddox in our lives. Do you know how hard it is to remember his name or even call him the right name? It's pretty much impossible. He's more often then not referred to as "new baby" around here. And if it's not that it's one of his brother's name. I wonder how the Duggars do it? How do they keep their kids' names straight with 19 kids? Now that has to be impossible.

Carson has taken the lead on Big Brother status. He loves snuggling and holding Maddox. He's very concerned about where he will lay or be at any given time, whether he's hungry, needs a diaper or is crying. It's quite the experience to watch your oldest become such a responsible little boy. His concern for not only Maddox but his other brothers is inspiring. 

Bennett became an overnight big boy, who still refuses to talk. Someone should really potty train this kid because two in diapers is expensive, not to mention his diapers are kind of gross. I should really get on that but I can't seem to find time to shower or go to the bathroom in peace so I'll just hope it magically happens overnight. What? That's a crazy thought? Don't tell me that! He's made the transition into Big Brother hood pretty well and enjoys rocking Maddox (albeit at a fast pace), holding him and shoving his pacifier in his mouth regardless if Maddox wants it.

Declan is also enjoying his baby brother. He's very good at holding him until he get's too wiggly.He's turned into my little helper by helping with breakfast, lunch or dinner, retrieving miscellaneous things throughout the house and always doing so with a running commentary.

I'm recovering ok. Breastfeeding is always a challenge and this time has been no exception. It's painful, hard and difficult but we are soldering through. Maddox is eating every two hours On. The. Dot.  around the clock, if not sooner. Oye! He loves being swaddled and sleeping in our bed. He's got some crazy skill that allows him to pull his arms out of his jammies every night. Straight out the top, so bizarre!

We are adjusting to the sleepless night. Actually it's a good time to enjoy some peaceful, uninterrupted snuggles with our babe. It's a time to kiss his soft hands, smell his sweet head or play with his little toes. Since he's our last I feel such a strong pull to enjoy every last minute of these precious first few days. I don't want them to go fast but I know they will. I know I will vaguely remember these chaotic days at some point and I'll try desperately to remember that newborn smell. They should bottle that because it's delightful! It's been a hectic transition but we are getting through it and enjoying our all our babes!

Maddox's Birth

Hard to believe it's been a week since we welcomed our fourth child into the world. My pregnancy drug on and on but the time after giving birth always seem to zip on by. In so many ways it feels like we just left the hospital with Carson. Now he's in first grade and eating dinner at a friend's house tonight. How did this happen? Since Maddox is our last child I desperately want this time to go slow, especially these first few days, weeks and months. So we're in the process of soaking up everything that is a newborn. Enjoying his smell, his tiny legs, his midnight feedings and his newborn cry. Please make time go slow.

And please enjoy this photo bomb of his birth.

I look thrilled. Really, I was, but I was also nervous and anxious about my impending surgery. Plus it took 3 different people to get my IV started, it was not a fun process.

Trevor all suited up for the OR in his hazmat suit.

Finally all numb! I was quite nauseous this time around as my BP plummeted after they gave me the spinal. what a weird feeling that was, I really wanted to sleep and just close my eyes. Thanks to some other drugs the feeling quickly vanished.

It's a....

BOY!!

Maddox Renee was born at 9:33am.

Weighing 9lbs 10oz, 21 inches long with a 15 cm head.

Mommy's first look!

Finally got to hold the little bean. My hands had gone numb so I didn't hold him until I had most of the feeling back in them.

Love the smile at that man's face. So telling of the moment.

Maddox, meet your crazy brothers!

They were thrilled to finally meet him and hold him.

Daddy and all his boys.

Bennett giving kisses.

Lots of snuggling with mommy in the hospital.

and daddy too.

There has been lots of looking, hand sanitizing and watching Maddox since we got home.

Bennett took a day or so to warm up to him. He was a little unsure of him at first.

Then he tried to sit on his lap and cuddle with him.

And of course pick him up.

And hold him while making cheesy smiles. He also is a fan of jamming his pacifier in regardless if Maddox wants it or not. All in all the transition has gone smoothly.

Our hearts are full!

Baby Day

It is 4:53am. In 37 minutes our alarm will go off and it will be time to get up. Unfortunately,for me,I've been up for just over an hour. Yawn. Today is a big day. Today we welcome you to the world.

It's surreal. This pregnancy has been long, longer then the others,and somehow birth day has arrived. It has snuck up on both your daddy and I. We are anxious to meet you,nervous to have a newborn again,and ready to introduce you to your 3 big brothers. Brothers who are very anxious and excited. Well,at least two of them are, Bennett is questionable. He has no idea what is coming and it will be a shock to his system but I have no doubt that he will love and adore you.

It seems just yesterday we were welcoming your biggest brother into the world and here we are awaiting our fourth child. Life is going to fast. I want time to slow down. I want to enjoy this day and everyday of your life. So please, if you could cooperate and not grow up too fast I'd appreciate that. The doctor estimated you to be about 9lbs and have a full head of hair. I think the weight is off but we shall soon find out. Here we go little one,hang on because this ride called life is pretty darn amazing.

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